1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
