11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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