sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
