Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize