Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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