I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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