If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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