Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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