It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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