It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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