I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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