You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't turn off my feet"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
