i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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