I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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