How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
