doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
