She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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