cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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