I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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