i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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