I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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