We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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