i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
