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you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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