i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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