he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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