oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
