smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize