FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
