DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
