Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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