Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
