GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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