so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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