I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
