I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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