Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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