He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize