I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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