That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
