Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think your dad took our porno
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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