I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Panties = found
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
