Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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