I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
