I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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