Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
