That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
