Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
