So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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