Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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