big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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