And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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