The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
