the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
