i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
