where am i from again
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize