And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
