Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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