If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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