Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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