I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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