My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize